What REALLY Went Down In 2015: A Year In A Hell House

Ok guys, so this is something I always wanted to get to, but never had the chance to...or rather I didn't have the guts to talk about it till now. I know it isn't relevant to talk about, but I feel it's something I wanted to get off my chest, because a lot of people were very concerned about how I was in 2015. Some people know the actual details about this. And when I say some people, it's mostly the people who were involved. I was often told it was like I was a different person, and they felt something was a little off. And yes, it's true, and I'm here to reveal the reason why. So grab a cup of coffee or tea, because here comes a long story!

To start it all off, it was February of 2015 when I was making my way to Kobe, Japan with my ex. (Let's give him a different, random name here, and name him Max LOL. I prefer not to use his real name.) While I was on the airplane, my heart was just pounding. I was getting nervous the closer we got to our destination, but excited at the same time.

The plan was to stay with Max's parents until things settled down. The reason why we decided to come to Japan together was because Max was going to start his job in Tokyo. I came along with him because he knew I wanted to teach English in Japan.

Once we arrived at his parents' place, I felt comfortable having his company there with me. I kept holding onto his arm to feel reassured everything was going to be ok. I knew I came here for a reason and I had to work really hard for it. It didn't fully hit me that after 14 years, I finally came back to Japan. It was so surreal and I couldn't hold back the tears. My jetlag was very bad though! It lasted for a month. And because of the sudden climate change coming from Arizona, I also got very sick for a long time. It took a long time adjusting to the new atmosphere.

A lot of people asked this. Since we came all this way together, was there ever talk about marriage? Honestly? We never really talked about it. I mean I thought about it and it came across once or twice, but it wasn't something we had seriously planned for. Max was a kind person (or so I thought), but he never was one to share his feelings. Not that he had a cold exterior or anything. In fact, he's known to have a "friendly atmosphere." I tried everything I could to get him to share, but it's always been one-sided. However, his parents strongly thought we were going to get married...or at least that is what they were pushing us to do.

The very first or second day of being in Kobe, we tried to find places for me to get a job at. I'm not afraid to mention this school, but there is a very popular English school chain all over Japan called "ECC", and that was the first place I applied at. Next day, I got a call and they turned me down. At the time I was legitimately sad that I was turned down, but hearing rumors about the school cheered me up a bit. After years of hearing about ECC, I highly recommend not involving yourself with that school (for those who want to be an English teacher in Japan) whatsoever. They are not flexible, they'll transfer you constantly to random places that can change within a week and from mine and other people's experiences, they are not so friendly as they are said to be. So I suggest private schools or center classes. l never experienced public schools before, but they might be a bit strict. I just don't suggest ECC LOL.

Anyways! ECC didn't work out. So I started volunteering at YMCA to teach kids English for only 2 weeks. But in the first week of being in Japan, I already got a job offer. You see, Max's parents were taking an English lesson at the center every Saturday and the first Saturday of being in Kobe, I went to check it out. That's when I met my boss.

They introduced me to their English teacher. First impression? He looked scary LOL and I thought he was maybe half Japanese or Okinawan. He's 100% Japanese (born in Kobe, but grew up in Guam and Hawaii). I remember after the lesson ended, he told me he would show me his school (which was a 4-minute walk from the center). Once he showed me the school, it seemed very comfortable. The motto is "at home and reasonable" and I instantly felt that. That's when he told me, "If you can't find a place to work, we're always open. Call us anytime." I was super happy and super lucky.

I really thought about the job offer for about a week or two and finally contacted the school. I honestly don't remember, but I think I started working at the school near the end of February to be an assistant for kids. I didn't make it fully official. Since I was here on a visa, I could only stay for the first 3 months and then go back to the states once and come right back. So, when it hit the first half of May, I returned to the states. Since I already made the decision to live in Japan, I had to take care of a lot of things in the states before I came back. It wasn't an easy decision...but I just wanted to be in Japan. Not just for me, but for my mom too. I made a promise to her that one day I will bring her back to Japan. Whether she lives with me in Kobe (or at the time Tokyo), or goes back to Okinawa to live with family. I'll do whatever it takes! No matter how long it takes...

After everything had been finalized, I came back to Kobe. When I came back, Max was already in Tokyo starting his new job. So I was alone...with his parents. Now, what I thought was going to happen was that once Max started his job in Tokyo, was that I was going to go with him. But that wasn't the case...his parents were going to teach me many things about becoming a "good housewife" in Japan and keeping my body healthy for the baby. asdfghjkl YES. BABY. Excuse my language. What the actual f***?! They often took me to the hospital for checkups to check for any abnormalities with my body. I wasn't even pregnant. I'm not even kidding when I say this, and it may be too much information, but she even checked if I got my period regularly. Sick I tell you. Sick. What is this? Camp?! We never agreed to this. I was just so shocked. I even called Max and he said it like they were just joking...but no...they weren't.

I started to work at the school officially now that I've returned. And since my coworker (and very good friend) was about to give birth to Yuujin, I took over her classes for the time being. Plus I became my boss's assistant at the centers to gain experience.

Work was going well, but it was being at Max's parents' house that started to eat at me and drive me insane. Around this time, it's probably been mid-August when I started to feel extremely strange and uncomfortable at the house. Let alone, I had to sleep in the same room with Max's mother!!! Which was all levels of creepy! As his father was sleeping alone in the room upstairs. They wouldn't let me go anywhere (aside from work) alone! After work, his mother would come by taxi and go home together by taxi. They wouldn't let me see anyone, or make friends. And they thought eventually I'll be going to Tokyo to live with Max, so I shouldn't get used to Kobe...but at the time, I already had. The parents were the ones showing me the ropes anyway. Why take it away from me now? I have a good job that I am comfortable with, and I met so many awesome people. Maybe I didn't want to leave...

At times I did visit Max in Tokyo for about a week or two, then soon had to return back to his parents' place. I think in 2015, I've gone to see him only 3 times that year. And the more and more I don't see him or hear from him, the more and more I was losing hope. I mean think about it. He just dumped me here with his parents (which was like an asylum) as he goes off to Tokyo with total freedom!

I already knew that his parents were a bit crazy, but learning new things about them made them seem even crazier. They never got along, the father was always out late, they never had friends come over. I was always stuck in the house with his mother. I had no freedom whatsoever. The house just felt dark and eerie. In fact, there was a dark secret involving Max's father (isn't my place to say), that I kind of understood why Max's mother and I had to sleep in the same room...WHICH MAKES ME MORE CONCERNED WHY HE LEFT ME HERE.

Around October, it was gradually getting to the last straw. Their orders, their rules, it just was starting to not seem normal. So I called Max and told him I'd at least like to stay somewhere else. I wanted some privacy, because I wasn't getting any. He said he would talk to his parents about that. And when he did, they told him "NO. Nowhere is safe but here." I'd be anywhere BUT here at this point. And just like that, Max just lets it go so easily and totally shuts out the problem like nothing.

December. At this time, I was about to explode. I was a ticking time bomb. I called Max everyday in tears telling him that I couldn't handle this anymore. It was excruciating. For 6 months, I've broken out so badly, vomited almost everyday after dinner, couldn't sleep most days and there were times where I even blacked out from all that stress. People at work started to notice it, but I know most were very hesitate on asking. You just could tell by my appearance. I was a total mess. Students kept telling me I looked too thin and my face just looked so dark and tired. I couldn't mention this to any of my friends or family. Especially not my mom. I didn't want to worry anyone. I just...kept fighting it alone.

I was going through this alone. Scared. Going through this, how can Max not even care to do anything??? No matter how many times I cried to him for help. NOTHING.

In January of 2016, Max came back to Kobe for New Years vacation. I'll never forget this time...I had to work one of the days and Max said he was going to go hang out with some old friends. Well, when work was over, I got back to the house. Max and his parents were gathered around the table with a piece of paper in his hand. I had no idea what it was until his mother said to me with a creepy smile, "Sign this. You'll be legally married." I was just in utter shock. Words couldn't escape from my mouth. I looked at Max, feeling anger building up as I was just lied to yet again. We had no plans for this. At least, nobody mentioned this to ME. But there was no way in hell I was going to sign that damn paper. "It was sudden, so we will give you a little more time," was what she said as she kept the paper in a safe place. I still couldn't say anything. Max didn't go off to see old friends, he went to City Hall to get that paper! What else have they been planning behind my back? What was next? To impregnate me?!

Later that month, Max went back to Tokyo for work. A few days later, I called him again in tears. It just felt like it was getting worse. And since it was considered an emergency, he said he'd come back to talk directly to his parents about the situation (um, FINALLY, why didn't you when you were just here?!).

So a week later, he came back to talk with his parents, and at the time when they were having the conversation, I was at work. When I finished work, Max was there waiting for me outside the school and told me, "I spoke to them. We need to talk."

We went to a nearby café and talked. He told me the situation very briefly. "They were very upset. They told me to tell you that we get married now and then pack all your stuff and come live in Tokyo with me right away." UH. WHAT.

At that time, my boss just got off of work. And for some reason, I felt if I asked for his help, I knew he would do something. So I called my boss and told him to meet us at the café. From there, we had a really long talk that lasted till 10pm. The thing was, I knew what I had decided. I wanted to stay in Kobe, at least for a little longer. But Max....he just had no idea what to do. My boss told Max, it was either me or his parents. He chose me, and it may have been reassuring...but I just knew at the pit of my stomach that this wasn't going to go well. The plan was to get me out of that house.

Once our talk ended, my boss and his wife drove us to the house. They said they didn't want to leave me there so they stayed. Max first went inside to tell his parents. Obviously they got upset and his father came out and started arguing with us. He was also arguing with his English teacher by the way LOL. It was just a big mess. His father even called Max a "useless son" and "you are messed up after being with this bitch" pretty much. I was so surprised because I never saw his father like that, but I'm glad I saw his true colors. His mother wanted to talk, so Max and I went into the house as the 4 of us had another long conversation. I told them what I needed to say and they just wouldn't listen. Honestly, it was too much going on all in one night that I forgot most of the conversation. It didn't end well, that's for sure. I was going to leave the house that night, but they kept refusing it. I didn't want to be there anymore. I was scared. And who knows what they would have done to me if I had stayed that night after saying how I really felt all this time. But I was going to leave that place that night. I made sure of it.

Thanks to my boss, he let me have a place to stay. I packed some clothes (I had planned to come back for all my things another time). At the time, I actually felt kind of bad for Max having to stay there with them as I left.

Two days later, I went to get all my things with my boss and his wife. Max and his mother were there, but not his father. I took all my things and put them into the car. I went back inside to thank his mother for their hospitality. The words she said sent chills down my spin. "You'll be back soon..." was the last thing she told me. I got into the car and Max actually got in too. He said he didn't want to be at the house so he went with us for a drive.

In the car, I noticed Max kept sending text messages. I didn't know to who, but later we found out it was his mother and father. I don't know if he was trying to be some sort of spy or something, but I just knew for sure whose side he was on at that point.

After the drive, we dropped Max off at the station. It's been several days since that day, and Max was already back in Tokyo yet again. We thought it'd be calm after the storm, but his parents were thirsty for revenge...

His parents contacted my mom, my family in Okinawa and our friends (who have nothing to do with the situation). They would tell them that I was forcefully taken away. They wanted me "home" and if there was any way of convincing me to go back. I'm the "future wife" to their son, so I needed to go back. They spoke very badly about my boss and even tried to get him fired many times. They just wreck havoc! And from there, I had to make the biggest decision...but a decision I felt was the right one. The decision I should have made a long time ago.

I called Max and told him we needed to end our relationship. I knew what side he was on and his parents are crazy and involving people who have nothing to do with the situation. They're absolutely obsessed at this point! They will not eat or sleep until they get what they wanted. But that wasn't just it. "You've always lied to me. I gave you so many chances. I am a complete idiot to keep giving you those chances, even after the hell you put my mom through. After 2 and a half years, I still don't even know who you are. You've done nothing but hide things from me. But after experiencing what I had with your family, I've finally realized that this is as far as we go. I tolerated so much, yet you never cared until I was nearly on my death bed. I needed you there the most when I was going through it all on my own. And another cruel thing you've done? You allowed them to keep me caged in without any hesitation. I've given so much effort into this relationship. I believe I deserve a lot better than this. Good luck with everything, and goodbye..."

After my farewell to Max, his parents still caused us problems for an entire year trying to destroy everything. I hadn't heard from Max ever since, so why are his parents still in the picture? I felt so awful, because everyone was protecting me no matter if it cost them their jobs. The harassments were getting way out of hand. We even told the police and they couldn't do anything to help but only file a report. It finally ended when we hired an attorney. It was an unusual case, but whatever the lawyer sent them, it sure scared them off.

For awhile, I tried disguising myself on the streets in case I ever ran into those crazy parents again. That included dying my hair jet black, wearing baggy clothing, and just blending into the public. I even had friends as body guards. It was a traumatic experience and I was very shaken by it for quite some time.

Last year, I slowly just learned to let it go after getting into vlogging again. And now my hair is like so bright, I stand out in the streets! I just don't care anymore. It's been two years now and I'm not afraid anymore. They can't control my fear again. I won't let them.

I have many people to thank after all we had been through together for my sake. After escaping that place, I've been so much happier -- freer! Students are seeing a big difference and they are so happy for me. My goodness...how did I deserve such support from all these wonderful people? What have I done to earn it? I still question it today. But I know I would do anything for them too.

Well! There's nothing more to say, but if you stuck around till the end, then you're awesome! This was quite the scary experience, but I've learned so much from it. I've became so much stronger and I actually feel like myself again. There was a lot left out of what more happened in that house that was odd, but there was so much that it would have taken too much time to putting effort into all those details. I never felt so pressured and so cornered in my life to the point where I became so ill. It was like some sort of asylum...or cult. If I had went with their plan, I probably wouldn't be here right now. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Until next time!

My Earrings Collection

I was never one to put on a lot of accessories. Sometimes I would put on a simple necklace, but most of the time I would wear rings or a pair of earrings. Recently I’ve been wearing earrings almost everyday now. I feel like just having earrings on really makes a difference. It compliments your face and I feel like having them on, you don’t have to put on an excessive amount of makeup. It kind of gives off that professional look. I’ve been going subtle with makeup and earrings really bring out the features.

When I was little, I always wanted to get my ears pierced, but apparently I had an ear infection? And my mom told me that I wouldn't let ANYONE touch my ears. So for many years, I wanted to get my ear pierced, but just couldn't. Until finally! In junior high, I went to get my ears pierced at Claire's. That was one of the happiest moments of my life LOL. So I was really excited to try out many different kinds of earrings.

I’ve always worn small earrings, because I was always afraid that longer and bigger earrings would get caught on something and whatnot. But now, I’ve been purchasing a lot of those kinds of earrings. I don’t know what it is...it gives like that 'slimmer-face-longer-neck' kind of illusion (I'm always into sophisticated looks). I’m willing to take the risk lol.

So in today’s post, I like to share my current earrings collection. There’s actually a lot I haven’t even tried on yet hehe.

Here we have an ear cuff. I collected a bunch of these last year, but I had to throw a lot of them away because they were changing color. This one I've only used twice, but I want to try wearing it more if it went along with my outfits.

Hoops! A blast from the past. I think these were really popular in the 90's and I feel like for awhile they had died down, but they are popular all over again.

I honestly don't know what these kind of earrings are called, but I really like them. Especially when they're hard to come out. You pull these earrings all the way through until your lobe reaches the center, and then let it dangle from both ends. 

Halloween earrings I was gifted with, but haven't worn them yet. Maybe this year for Halloween! And as for the cat earrings, the bell and cat paw earrings, they came as a set. I couldn't resist but to buy them! The crazy cat person in me. I love how you can mix and match this set.

These are probably my favorite so far from my entire collection.

Pet Questionnaire

A while back I did a questionnaire/tag thing for Pochi -- the Furry Friend Tag. He's considered the family pet, and he lives in the states with my mom. Living in Japan, I always thought that one day I would have my own pet; a pet I would take care of as if it were my own child. I didn't think it would be so soon, but I guess it was that time and I got a kitten for free. And her name is Kuromi. Yes, I know what you guys are thinking...ANOTHER black cat?! Well, I love any kind of cat in general, but my favorite are black cats. They're just absolutely gorgeous and honestly, you don't see many black cats around here. Out of all her siblings, she was the only black cat. I was very lucky to find her. Now that I have my own pet, I thought I would make a questionnaire for Kuromi too. Here's a short questionnaire that is slightly different from the Furry Friend Tag.


1. How many pets do you have? How many did you have in the past and what were they, if any?
Right now I have 1 that I can consider as my own. I don't plan to get another pet. I did have 2 pets named Patches and Pepe (3 including Pochi, is still alive and like I said, living with my mom) in the past and they were all cats. Patches lived for 20 years, and Pepe had a very short life at 8 years. My family has always been cat people.

2. What gender is your current pet(s)?
Female.

3. What breed are they?
The people that gave her to me didn't say anything about what breed she is. I always thought she could be an American shorthair, just by looking at her siblings, but I'm thinking she could be a Bombay??? I don't know. I wish I knew! Any cat experts out there?!

4. What is your pet's name? How did you come up with their name?
Her name is Kuromi; Kuu-chan for short. The people who gave her to me already named her Kuu which could be a name for both boy/girl. When I chose her, I couldn't think of any names, because the people couldn't confirm if she was a boy/girl. Once they finally confirmed it, I wanted to give her a name with "kuro" in it (meaning "black" in Japanese) and how she can still have "kuu" as a nickname. Then, I thought I wanted a part of my name to be part of hers, so I took the "mi" in my name and came up with "Kuromi". Which coincidently is the name of my favorite Sanrio character.

5. When is their birthday? How old are they?
The people I got her from didn't know (goodness, they didn't know anything), but once I got her, she was already 2 months old and at the time when I got her, it was May. So I thought going back 2 months, she was born somewhere in March. And the day I got her was on the 30th of May, so I just made her birthday March 30th. She is now 1 year and 1 month.

6. What are some things you enjoy doing with your pet(s)?
I love playing with her. She loves playing with the cat toys. I also love to just sit down or lay down with her relaxing next to me. Just having her around, even if it means her just sleeping, makes so much of a difference. Her presence just makes me feel so comfortable.

7. Does your pet(s) have any special tricks or unique habits?
I don't know if I would say they're special tricks/unique habits. Ever since Kuromi was a kitten, I always sat her on my lap, and when we slept, I always had her close to my stomach area. I always thought that when she grows up, she's never going to do those things anymore, but she still does! She gets on my lap and sleeps there sometimes (omg she's heavy!) and she sleeps super close to me at night. She even takes up half the bed! To the point where we even fight over it LOL. Also, what I thought was funny was that when it's just the two of us, she would always give me kisses! But when someone is in the room, she doesn't do it. I think in a way she feels embarrassed to show people. Because in front of other people, she's so cold and she acts like a "queen". And showing people that she kisses me, looks like it's a sign of weakness or something. She also is very protective of her food. She knows how to protect herself by smacking animals around haha. I also recently noticed that she knows how to unlock doors...which is good for us if we ever get locked out, but if a burglar gets in or something...

8. (Optional) Post a picture of your pet(s). Or describe them.

Questionnaire #3

Hello! I feel like it's been ages since I last did a questionnaire/survey...but I finally managed to fill one out. I saw this one going around and it's just a bunch of random questions. I may have answered the same questions in previous questionnaires, but it wouldn't hurt to refresh lol. This may be a long one. Any of you fellow bloggers out there that enjoy these, fill free to fill one out yourselves. Here we go:

1. First Name.
Hitomi.

2. Sign.
Libra.

3. Languages you can speak.
English and Japanese.

4. Favorite color.
It always changes, but currently it's red.

5. Coffee or tea.
Don't put me in this situation! As much as I love coffee, my heart always leads back to my love for tea the most. #GreenTeaForLife

6. Average hours of sleep.
My sleeping schedule is very random, but recently I've been pushing myself to sleep at least 6 hours.

7. Dog or cat person.
I love dogs too, but if you know me, you know I'm a hardcore cat person. #MotherOfCats

8. Do you take naps often?
I want to, but I force myself not to. If I do, I can't sleep at night.

9. Are you a morning person? 
Nope.

10. Number of siblings.
I only have one older brother.

11. Person you called last.
My mom.

12. A question you are always asked.
"Are you half?" asked by Japanese people. Some can already sense it, but others are still confused when they look at me. XD

13. Song you sang last.
No Tears Left To Cry by Ariana Grande. I can't get that song out of my head.

14. Showers or baths?
Definitely baths. So relaxing.

15. Who is around you right now?
My baby Kuu sleeping next time me.

16. Do you like spicy foods?
LOVE. Especially Korean spices.

17. Have you ever had a breakdown?
Yes. I actually had one recently, but it's all good now.

18. Last movie you saw.
Avengers: Infinity War. OMG. That's all I can say. OMG.

19. Do you like your neighbors?
The people who live in front of us and beside us are pretty cool, but the people who live behind us are crazy. I've honesty never spoken or seen them before! But I've heard rumors that they are not very pleasant.

20. Longest friendship?
10 years(?) now with my bff Danielle! I still have friends who I still keep in touch from when I was living in Aomori, but I feel we don't have that strong bond that I have with Dani. I think it's because we've gone through so much together, she has always been there for me and we also message each other to check up on each other considering the distance between us.

21. When is your birthday?
October 2nd.

22. What's your favorite videogame? 
Final Fantasy...Kingdom Hearts...Resident Evil...Xenosaga...I can go on~

23. Coca Cola or Pepsi?
Neither.

24. Any allergies?
Ugh! Don't get me started with hay fever! (T-T)

25. What show are you currently watching?
A lot of my favorite shows recently finished and won't start up again until next year. I'm currently just keeping up with Riverdale and Detective Conan. Shingeki no Kyojin will be returning soon! So I'm looking forward to that.

26. Do you have makeup on right now?
Nope. And it feels good! My face needs a rest.

27. Do you think your life story would make a great movie? 
...it wouldn't be GREAT, but I think it would be somewhat...interesting.

28. Is your room clean?
Working on it right now!

29. When you were young, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Flight attendant, lawyer, game designer, police/detective...I think I left out a few more, but those were memorable decisions I've made lol.

30. If you could go back 5 years and tell yourself something, what would it be?
Be careful who you trust.

31. Do you prefer to shop in-store or online?
I like to do either one, but lately I've been kind of tired of the clothing around here because almost everyone dresses the same. So, recently I've been shopping online. Especially when there are items they don't sell here.

32. Do you have an Instagram?
Yesss → Hitomitomtom

33. Do you believe in ghosts?
Yes.

34. Do you have straight or curly hair?
Wavy. I was born with really curly hair, but once my mom took me to get my first haircut, it wouldn't grow curly anymore. That's so strange...but I had such beautiful hair. (T___T)

35. Do you wear contacts/glasses?
Both.

36. How do you like to relax?
I like to sit around with friends and have a nice chat over coffee or something. I also like to stay home and watch YouTube videos with some coffee/tea in hand, and Kuu-chan there next to me.

37. Have you ever been scouted?
Sort of? First time, I was scouted at the mall for a modeling agency when I was in the states. Second time, I was someone who was so shy to sing in front of people, but thanks to my friends, they really took me out of my comfort zone and made me enjoy karaoke. I've been told many times that I have a beautiful singing voice and I was once introduced to a singing teacher (who is often on TV), who told me that I should join her. People tell me I should join singing contests and even go on TV on singing shows. I remember people were actually planning on sending requests to the TV shows, but I told them not to. XD

38. Favorite kind of flower.
Sakura and roses!

39. Favorite beauty brands.
From the top of my head: DHC, Missha, Visee, Kate, Memebox, Nature Republic, Skinfood, Creer Beaute.

40. Favorite Disney princess?
I don't know why, but ever since I was little, I always liked Aurora/Belle.

41. Have you changed over the years?
Yes. A lot.

42. What's the most difficult thing about the past 10 years?
Losing a lot of my loved ones...

43. Favorite season.
Fall.

44. Do you want to get married?
Someday, but I'm in no rush.

45. Do you drink?
Yes, but not a lot.

46. Beer or wine?
Wine.

47. What do you post?
I post a lot of positive things as much as I can, fun things, inspirations, etc. But I do avoid sharing personal things. There's a lot of things you guys don't even know. ;)

48. Favorite food.
Japanese and Korean food.

49. What is something you wish you could spend more time doing?
Traveling.

50. What is your favorite scent?
Plum blossoms.

51. Who is your current obsession?
Dangerous question~ for now, Jackson Wang♥

52. What's your blood type?
Blood type A. Not a big deal in the states, but super big deal in Japan. It's how they judge you.

53. What's your favorite music soundtrack?
Currently -- The Greatest Showman.

54. Nationality.
Japanese...American.

55. What do people call you?
Hitomi. Tomi. Tom-Tom. Hitomi-sensei (personal favorite hehe).

56. What is your occupation? Do you enjoy what you do?
I'm an English teacher (along with other things). I really enjoy it! At first, I was so nervous and I had no idea what I was getting myself into, because I wasn't the kind of person who would TEACH people, let alone 30 people in one classroom! All my students are amazing. I'm their teacher, but they don't always treat me like a teacher but like a friend...family.

57. Dream job?
Singer.

58. Do you take pictures often?
Yes and no? Lol. I take pictures when I feel like it. Like I'm not the kind of person who would take pictures every time I go out.

59. Could you go out in public, looking like you do now?
Uh...no LOL unless I put on a mask.

60. Phobias?
Arachnophobia...I get easily scared of spiders. But I love Spider-Man. XD

61. What is your fashion style?
A mix of everything. I don't have a specific style.

62. If you could change your gender for a day, would you?
Yeah! Totally. It would be interesting to see how it's like as a guy for a day.

63. Are you tired right now?
Very. But I'm on a vacation so I feel so relaxed.

64. How many kids would you want to have?
Maximum 2.

65. Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them?
Yes! It's hard stuff.

66. Do you have any other blogs?
Nope.

67. Has the last month been really stressful for you?
Yes. Very. I'm glad it's over. I feel like March~April are the worst months in Japan! I see why people here are stressed around that time.

68. What was on your mind mostly today?
That I better call my mom and my family in Okinawa.

69. What's on your schedule for tomorrow?
I might go out with a friend, depending how I feel. Hay fever is just REALLY bad.

70. What's the longest relationship you've been in?
2 years and a half.

71. Which would you prefer to receive as a gift - flowers or chocolate?
Flowers.

72. Did you sleep well last night?
Oh yes! First time in a long time.

73. How would your parents react if you got pregnant?
No idea...well, I think my mom would be happy for me? It depends, are we talking suddenly? Like right this moment??

74. Do you consider yourself to be a strong person? Why/why not?
Yes I do. I've been through so much, yet here I am, still standing strong.

75. Ketchup or mustard?
Ketchup.

76. Comedy or mystery?
Mystery.

77. Baseball or basketball?
Baseball.

78. Marvel or DC?
I like both, but Marvel all the way. You just can't compare.

79. Do you have Facebook?
Yes. But it's personal and I want to make it minimal to old friends or family members, so I'm sorry if many of you sent friend requests and I don't accept. Please forgive me! Nothing against you. I don't even get on there much.

80. Do you have a YouTube account?
Yesss → Hitomitomtom

81. Do you want to change your name?
No. I'm ok with it. For many years, I wanted to change it since I was bullied because of it. There were times where I changed my name, but as I grew up, everyone thought it was unique, so I stuck with it ever since.

82. Tattoos?
None.

83. Piercings?
Yes. Ears.

84. Right or left hand?
Right hand.

85. Any surgeries?
Yes. I've broken my right arm before.

86. Have you dyed your hair before?
Many times~~~ I think my favorite color so far was amber.

87. Are you named after someone?
Yes. After a character from a Japanese drama.

88. Do you like your handwriting?
No. I have ugly handwriting~

89. Have you ever given blood?
No...I wanted to. I remember in high school, we had a blood drive and I wanted to give my blood, but they refused me because I was too tiny. It looked like I was the one who needed blood LOL. Just when I wanted to do a good deed... (-_____-)

90. When was the last time you saw your parents?
I haven't seen my mom for almost a year and a half now. (T-T)

91. Any plans for the weekend?
Karaoke party???

92. Favorite Pokémon?
Eevee!!! And its evolutions.

93. Do you support the LGBT community?
Of course!!!

94. How do you vent your anger?
I go to the gym. Which is interesting because I work a lot harder when I'm angry lol.

95. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?
All my jeans are skinny jeans.

96. What are you going to spend your money on next?
Clothes! I haven't done clothes shopping in a long time, and I need some new clothes now that I threw away a lot of my old ones.

97. Does everyone deserve a second chance?
Depending on the situation.

98. Do you want to try anything new?
Kyudo! I mean I've done it once before...but I really want to start taking actual lessons.

99. Do you take vitamins daily?
Yes I do. Thanks to DHC's Vitamin C capsules!

100. Team Captain America or Team Iron Man?
Team Iron Man all the way!!!

How I Lost Weight + Tips

I'm constantly asked: How are you so thin? WHY are you so thin? Do you even eat!?

First of all, I never miss a meal. And well...I wasn’t born like this. In fact, I was a very BIG child. I had rolls over rolls. Literally. My mom's friends would even call me "Tendo Yoshimi", because I looked so much like her. I was often mistaken as the older sister, just because I was bigger than my brother. As I gotten older, I wasn’t as big as I was, but I was quite chubby. I never had a problem with being chubby at first, but I was made fun of and at the same time, I really had to think about my eating habits. I often drank soda and pigged out on all sorts of snacks while watching TV or sitting around doing nothing. That consistently happened all the way up to junior high school. I was very insecured about myself. I didn't even like getting my pictures taken (if I had a picture of that time, I'd post it, but I don't have any. I'll ask my mom to send some and I'll update this post if I receive any).

That's when it hit me. Once I started high school, I decided to make it an opportunity to be active. Freshman year, I played soccer, had PE, hip hop dance class and a detective/security class -- which was SO hard with all the intense training which was literally like boot camp, so I did it only for a year. Sophomore year, I had PE, and instead of hip hop dance, my friend suggested me to take folklorico with them (a Mexican dance). OMG I was the only lost white girl, but surprisingly, it was a lot of fun! Everyone worked so well together, but I didn’t want to continue it. So in junior year, I had PE, went back to hip hop dance and started musical theater (which does involve a lot of moving around). Finally, in senior year I only did PE and dance. For four straight years, I had kept with a very active schedule, improved on my eating habits and managed to lose weight. Not to mention my body was so toned! I don’t now, but I did have an amazing 6-pack! Not gonna lie LOL.

After graduating, I wasn’t crazy active as I was in high school, but I didn’t want to stop just because I no longer did those activities. So during my college years I did dancing and workouts at my own home, and kept away from fast food.

Moving to Japan for the first year I wasn’t that active since I just got here there were so much to do. But once or twice a week I would go to a big park nearby and ran for an hour on the track. I moved locations again, so I had to change lifestyle yet again. Japan is full of healthy, fresh food, which makes it easier for me to live a healthier lifestyle. And almost EVERYONE is active (including the older people). It has given me more motivation watching Japanese people. They really push themselves and almost everyone I meet are in amazing shape.

Right now I still eat as healthy as I can, but considering I have a busy schedule than what I had compared to when I was living in the states, I don’t go to the gym often. I go once a week now (or on holidays), I’ve been wanting to go twice or three times but it’s hard to fit in my schedule right now. Same goes with dancing. So to make up for that, I go running every night in the neighborhood! Problem is that I haven’t gone running for months because it was super cold here. But! I just recently got back into it since it's gotten a little warmer. Which leads to another question: Why are you still in good shape even after going to the gym/dance once a week and not running for months? Well, I walk. I do a lot of walking to get to certain destinations. That's the great thing about Japan, there's always people walking. I think shopping really helps with the workout too, because when it comes to shopping, there’s a lot of walking involved! In general, I just try to find excuses to move my body. I do drink alcohol. It’s nice to drink it after a long day of work with other people. Nothing harmful, I do limit myself. I honestly think you don’t HAVE to stop eating or drinking everything that’s bad for you. You just need to know your limit; the portion you’re taking in and to not make it constantly all day everyday. There may be times where you throw something away completely in the process. I was in LOVE with Coca Cola once. But I stopped drinking it in junior high school thanks to my aunt. During that time I had REALLY bad acne and she said that maybe the cause of that could partially be soda. So I quit soda ever since. Just the other day, I drank Coca Cola for the first time in years, and I HATED it. I just can’t stand the taste anymore. Daily, I take down a lot of water. Water is also good for your skin. Not only for weight purposes, but I’ve also been trying to keep healthy for my skin. I still have acne, I’ve always had acne problems, but it isn’t as bad as it once was. I try to take proper care of it.

I don’t have the perfect body. I don’t believe I do, and I don’t want you guys to believe it either. I just want to live a well-balanced life, and take better care of my body. Plus, it makes me feel good! So, I don’t want to be that kind of person giving advice, because some routines don’t work out with everyone. The routine I’m doing may not even work for you, but even if it doesn’t, try to find your routine if you want a healthier lifestyle. There’s always going to be something that will work for you. You just gotta work hard and find it. It doesn’t come that easy.

Busy Life + Vlog Update

Hey guys! Long time no blog post, but I decided to put something up since it's easier to work on it on-the-go with my phone rather than vlogs. So while vlogs are going through a long process right now, I decided to use the blog.

As many of you may already know, I'm always busy! And only getting busier. Not that it's a bad thing, but sometimes I need a breather...

It's not that I work every single day of the week. I have two days off (though it could change depending how things continue). But recently I haven't be able to relax on those two days off because I have other business to take care of. Don't get me wrong! I love my job, but it gets tough and I'm starting to feel really exhausted and I space out a lot to the point where I draw blanks. I think mainly it’s because my body isn't fully accustomed to the new routine? I don't know.

For those that may not know: I'm an English teacher in Japan and that is my main job, but I have other side jobs and projects I work on with a team as well. Ever since I came to Japan, I've been getting so many opportunities from left to right. It started 3 years ago and still going!!! I'm truly thankful for the people who help me and to our connections, but at the same time a part of me thinks I'm taking most of the opportunities for something else...

I just can't say "no" without overthinking things. I don't know what it is. And this is something I'm trying to change, but can't fully...and that is always making other people happy first and I'm coming in last. That is something I've recently been noticing. When I take all these opportunities, I feel so proud of myself and other people are proud of me too. This has never happened before in my life. Before I came to Japan, I was always that girl who wasn't so bright and couldn't do absolutely anything right...so being here turned me into something I'd never imagined and I wanted to prove people wrong. I'm scared to fail people and myself. And this might sound ridiculous but people are like selling me (omg not what you think lol)...with my skills, my image, and my name to bring in more business and to expand. Now, when I say it like that it sounds bad, but it isn't exactly BAD. You might think I'm being used, but really I'm not. The process is just...I have to bare with a lot of things, a lot of things that can evolve to stress. I love being in my working environment, but I also love being around the people I love. Sometimes I don't have time to interact with them...and that part slowly drifts away, but I‘ve tried so hard recently to always manage to catch up to it again.

The people around me take really good care of me. They care about my health and my well-being, but I'm the one at fault for not telling them how I physically and mentally feel. I don't like worrying people and I don't want them to stop everything that’s going well because of me. I'm scared of me ever ruining everyone's hard work.

What I'm trying to say and what I'm trying to keep telling myself, is that being busy is good, it keeps you on your feet and gets your brain moving. But we shouldn't have to think what other people think. We can't please everyone. We should do what makes us happy. We also need to remember to make a balance with everything. It can be REALLY hard, I know, but it's something that has to be done. If you don't, you're just going to lose a big part of something you'll forever regret. I don't want it to always be business. That’s why I make myself see my friends/family. Because I know when I see them, that's when I feel relaxed and not stressed. That's when I feel at home and at peace. And just that really helps me to separate myself from the business world.

Anyways, I really should stop ranting and move on lol. Let's lighten the mood a little and move into vlogs. I'm still not giving it up! But I want to limit myself after all...I try to work and edit them once a week, but it's been impossible so I'm thinking once or twice a month considering how it goes. So, I will basically put everything together within what happened in that month. I hope you all understand. My friends were sad haha but it can't be helped unless I were to hire someone to edit for me, but I'm not exactly a known YouTuber so that's out of the question LOL. And this isn’t a job for me. It’s a hobby. We will see how it goes. The routine may change again. Like I said, I’m trying to change some things and want to try to relax when I can get even the tiniest chance. Being a workaholic is exhausting! So that’s all for now. Until next time~